Surreal: Part 2

OK, I couldn't finish this post earlier because I didn't know if my blog would be hidden and I hadn't told very many people yet but on Wednesday I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.  I was cautiously excited, especially since I'd had a false positive before.  So, I decided to buy another test and do it in the morning but couldn't wait that long so took it that night and again it was positive.  I called my best friend that afternoon and I felt guilty that outwardly she was so much more excited than I was.  I explain my emotion as cautiously excited.  I know that so much can happen before the 3 month mark and that's part of why I wanted to wait that long to tell people.  But on the other hand I serve a Mighty God who loves his children and is faithful and just and if He can't keep our baby safe who can? 

So, as time goes on both Jamie and I are letting our excitement show a little more and being sure to make sure that people know that this baby is a gift from Jesus!!  Obviously, this isn't something that we could have created on our own and we are praying that God will keep his hand on this child and hive him/her a desire to serve Him early on.  We are so excited to be able to pour into this little one.

There's a lot of other feelings that come up, some expected, some unexpected.  I have a cousin who has been waiting a lot longer than I have for a family and I feel guilty at being so excited, but at the same time I don't want to belittle the miracle that we have received.  Also, so many thoughts about "will it be healthy? How many will there be?  Will we be good parents?  will we be patient?  Will it bring us closer together or cause division?  Is our house big enough? Will Jamie get a job?"  But, as I said before, we serve a Mighty God who is able to keep up and lead us, guide us and provide for us.  I will trust in Him and His word rather than put fear in the what-ifs to come.  Stressing about the what-ifs are not going to solve anything.  Mother, are you reading this?  Worry is wasted effort!  God is soveirgn and He is in control :)