babies

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Hearing God's voice, and knowing that it's Him

Sometimes I have to think about something awhile before I can put into words what I really want to say.  There have been 2 distinct times in my adult life when I've heard satan try to get me to ask him for something that God could very easily give.

The first time was a little over 7 years ago.  I went camping with my best friend and her family.  The motor home that they were driving up to Mackinaw kept over-heating and we had to keep stopping at rest areas.  It made for a VERY long trip.  We were at a rest area about an hour from our destination and I heard a voice say to me "if you just ask, I can get you there." 

John 10:27-29 in the KJV Bible says "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.  My father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand."

I am thankful that I am a sheep, I do know the voice of God, and I knew that was not Him speaking to me.  The devil is always trying to get God's sheep to bow their knee to him.  Would he have been able to get us up north?  Probably, but I decided right then and there that I would rather stay right there at that rest stop all weekend than ask a liar and deciever for anything!  After that, we made it north and I don't think we had to stop again.

The second time I heard satan try to get me to ask him for something was a few weeks ago.  I actually heard it a few times, on a few different days.  It kept saying, "if you ask me, I could give you a baby."  I decided that if God couldn't give us a child then I didn't want kids.  Little did I know that the blessing was already on it's way, as tomorrow I will be 8 weeks pregnant.

Sometimes when you've been waiting for something for a long time it may seem tempting to give up and give in.  DON'T DO IT!!!  IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!  All he needs is an inch and he'll take a mile.  What would you give in exchange for an eternity in Hell?  What is worth it?  I wonder how many people believe those lies?  Take the bait? Sell out?  It's sad really, that at times people will put more trust in the devil then they will put in God.  God is faithful, he answers prayer, but it's not always in the way or timing that we expect.  But, He is sovergn and as Christians His Word must be the final authority!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Not much new

Not much new going on.  I feel like since I have so many people following that I should update regularly lol!  I do have a post I'm working on in my head.  Something that I was talking over with my best friend the other day that I think others would find interesting, just trying to figure out how to word it.

Finally, after 4-5 nights of being awake more than asleep, I am starting to sleep better.  Hoping that I start to like broccoli again before too long because it is so good for you!!  I was eating at least a bag a day before.  How long do the food aversions last for?  Is that a 1st trimester thing or is that a whole way through thing?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Surreal: Part 2

OK, I couldn't finish this post earlier because I didn't know if my blog would be hidden and I hadn't told very many people yet but on Wednesday I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.  I was cautiously excited, especially since I'd had a false positive before.  So, I decided to buy another test and do it in the morning but couldn't wait that long so took it that night and again it was positive.  I called my best friend that afternoon and I felt guilty that outwardly she was so much more excited than I was.  I explain my emotion as cautiously excited.  I know that so much can happen before the 3 month mark and that's part of why I wanted to wait that long to tell people.  But on the other hand I serve a Mighty God who loves his children and is faithful and just and if He can't keep our baby safe who can? 

So, as time goes on both Jamie and I are letting our excitement show a little more and being sure to make sure that people know that this baby is a gift from Jesus!!  Obviously, this isn't something that we could have created on our own and we are praying that God will keep his hand on this child and hive him/her a desire to serve Him early on.  We are so excited to be able to pour into this little one.

There's a lot of other feelings that come up, some expected, some unexpected.  I have a cousin who has been waiting a lot longer than I have for a family and I feel guilty at being so excited, but at the same time I don't want to belittle the miracle that we have received.  Also, so many thoughts about "will it be healthy? How many will there be?  Will we be good parents?  will we be patient?  Will it bring us closer together or cause division?  Is our house big enough? Will Jamie get a job?"  But, as I said before, we serve a Mighty God who is able to keep up and lead us, guide us and provide for us.  I will trust in Him and His word rather than put fear in the what-ifs to come.  Stressing about the what-ifs are not going to solve anything.  Mother, are you reading this?  Worry is wasted effort!  God is soveirgn and He is in control :)

Surreal: Having an oddly dreamlike quality.

Surreal: Having an oddly dreamlike quality; that is what the past few days have been like.

6 and 1/2 years ago I married my husband and after about 6 months we decided to stop preventing pregnancy.  Trying not to get our hopes up and silently anticipating a quick conception I faithfully tested every month and especially before family gatherings, hoping and praying for a positive test.  After 6 months of negative tests and disappointment I went to the doctor to get checked out.  I was diagnosed with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome).  Some of the factors that attribute to that diagnosis is small cysts on the ovaries that prevents ovulation (one of the only markings I did not have thank the Lord!), abnormal hormone levels preventing ovulation, abnormal hair growth on face (due to the hormones), infertility.  I also had a test to check to see if my fallopian tubes were blocked, which one of them was.  At that time we decided to try fertility medication to no avail, and after a few rounds I really felt that when we had kids I wanted it to be because the Lord gave them to us. 

So, we waited and prayed, all the while watching what seemed like everyone around us conceive and start/grow their families whether they were trying or not.  I felt pain during that time that I never knew the heart could feel.  But all through, God was faithful.  The Bible says that through Jesus we have peace that surpasses all understanding and I found that to be true.  In the darkest of times, my husband and best friend were so supportive.  Sometimes it hurt too badly to even talk to my husband about it but looking in his eyes I knew he was feeling the same pain that I was.  Always when I needed to hear it, Tara (my best friend), would give words of encouragement that really helped me hold the faith that we serve a mighty God, who is faithful and loves us very much.  She will never know how much that means to me because words just can't express it! 

Year after year, holding to the promise that God gives us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4-5).  I would have to say that the past year or 2 have definitely been easier and Jamie and I have grown closer through it, but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy lol!!  Through it I am thankful for the strength that has been built in me, for the faith that has grown in me, for the purification that tribulation and struggle brings, and for the testimony and encouragement that I'll be able to share with others.