Not So Normal Motherhood

It seems sometimes that nothing in my life ever follows the norm, and that's ok.

I always imagined when I had a baby that there would be a big adjustment and imagined bringing him home from the hospital the same day that I went home, but having Ben 7 weeks early, that's just not how it works.  I never thought leaving without him would be so hard.  I didn't think I'd cry, and I really didn't think I'd wake up in the middle of the night missing him, when I've only gotten to hold him twice.  I am so thankful to have such a healthy baby.  I've met so many parents already at the hospital who have had babys so much earlier and who aren't doing as well as Ben.  I am so thankul that God's timing is perfect.  Ben was born at the perfect time, for a specific reason and purpose and I can't wait to see him grow into it.

Right now we know that he is receiving the best care in the world, and even though we can't be there with him right now, we are doing the best we can while we are not there to give him the best!  We've been trying to learn how to pump but I am going to set up an appointment with a lactation consultant to make sure that I can get a good milk supply established for him.  I am thankful that Spectrum values the benefit of breast milk as much as I do.  Any that I am able to get we can drop off.  I figured that they would be able to mix it with the formula but that's not what they are doing, they mix it with donated breast milk so Ben still gets the full benefit of breast milk even though I can't provide it yet.  That makes me extremely happy!!!  I would have never thought that would be an option!!